The Gay & Lesbian Matchmaker

H4M Blog

Seeking Fem? Masculine? And All the Singles In Between.

Seeking Fem? Masculine? And All the Singles In Between.

As a straight ally who founded an LGBT business, I get the most painfully honest and genuine questions from my straight friends and family. And what may surprise you even more? The same…

Two Grooms Dancing

Another Gay Single Matched and Married!

November 17, 2017

Nothing beats a certified matchmaker’s voicemail, email, or live announcement to learn that a current or former client got engaged—or even married! That’s how this particular Matchmaker Mon…

Love Can Change YOUR World in a Moment

Love Can Change YOUR World in a Moment

September 26, 2017

But what do I know? I’ve only been a proponent for more traditional introductions, courting, and dating, since, well since, forever. I’m a romantic at heart I guess? But I’m also pretty pra…

Gay Matchmaking: It’s Never too Late to Find Love

Gay Matchmaking: It’s Never too Late to Find Love

Too many times, in the last five years, I have talked to an eligible gay single, who told me, “I had just given up on finding someone. I assumed I would be alone forever.” In the past, they…

Quit Your Job
Buy A Ticket
Get A Tan
Fall In Love
Never Come Back
– Island Company

Find Your Mantra

What may your mantra be? Whether it is related to love, happiness, or career and success; sometimes just putting the energy out into the world can bring it back to you tenfold...

Holding hands

What You Seek

January 30, 2017

For those of us who are driven, waking up each day is the opportunity to go for what we truly want for ourselves. Whether it’s related to career, passion, our interests, for our...

Women kissing on date

Fall... In Love (again)

November 2, 2016

You are never too young or too old to fall for the one who deserves your heart. It doesn’t mean that we’re perfect. Or that they are. But we are all human. And deserving of love...

Own Who You Are Today

August 19, 2016

This evening, yet again, I wrap up an incoming business telephone call with a successful bachelor in his 50s. He’s driven, intelligent, caring, nice looking, and eligible. He’s...

Man at desk thinking and researching

Ten Things to Know When Hiring a Matchmaker

At the risk of revealing a matchmaker’s trade secrets, I can no longer stand by with you out there wondering how matchmaking can make a difference in your life. I live it. I do...

book pages folded into shape of a heart

Love Is My Religion

A journalist once interviewed me for one hour to discuss my journey in now being known in my industry (of certified matchmakers) as the Gay Matchmaker...

Man driving his car

Driving Away (Negative Head Talk)

Takes one to know one. You’ve heard it. So I’ll remind you that I was a matchmaking client. That’s right. I, too, wanted someone to please just find the good guys, and call me...

Man laying on grass, enjoying some sunshine

Say Goodbye to March Madness

If you have ever lived in West Texas (or Northwest Oklahoma), you know that spring is really known for one irritating and unavoidable thing. Wind. Spring unleashes direct pole...

Man contemplating and overlooking a landscape

Rebooting Your Love Life in 2016

As I sit to write this, I feel like an investigative reporter. With the afternoon shower, I’ve escaped to the Solarium on Brilliance of the Seas, Royal Caribbean’s “adult” pool...

The Man You Date. Wait, I Mean Marry… Continued.

February 5, 2016

To recap:There’s a difference between the man you “date” and the man you would marry. As I said, “Gentlemen, if it seems and feels and makes you wonder if it’s too good to be true? It...

Gay couple holding hands

The Man You Date. Wait, I Mean Marry.

January 27, 2016

Yes, gentlemen. There is often a difference. An important distinction. Not everything in life is black and white. In most things, there is some grey area. And I guess that could apply...

Group of people socializing

You Never Know Who You’ll Meet

December 14, 2015

It’s the Holiday Season. Parties, toasts, special programs, gatherings, and expectations to make it a memorable one. Especially in light of all going on in the world. We all seek...

Two guys on a first date

7 Bad Topics on a First Date

You’ve done it. You’ve landed that cup of coffee or happy hour drink with a guy who just might be the one. Now you simply hope to find the right shirt, a great parking spot, and that he’s...

Go Ahead, Have a Spring Fling

I know, I know, one can get a little nauseous with the overly-romantic references to love. Whether it’s around Valentine’s, other milestone holidays, and even Spring, with love in the air...

How to Get a First Date in 3 Easy Steps

As the “Gay Matchmaker” my team and I work on coordinating the details of a first date on a daily basis. We are essentially “love agents” who represent our clients, and take the guesswork...

Man meditating

LOVE in the New Year

December 30, 2014

Another approaching New Year’s Eve, when we reflect on a year of good times, fun memories, and moments of “awwwww” in seeing friends’ FaceBook year in review. One ritual for some...

Two men hiking together

Love is Worth the Risk

August 28, 2014

In my late 30s, I didn’t surf, sail, climb mountains, or run with the bulls. I didn’t take risk. And then I married it. All because of my personal, offline and professional matchmaker...

Gay couple holding hands by the beach

Summer "Dating Coaching" Starts Here

With the first day of summer, we quickly kick in to make the most of the season for outdoors, travel, seeing old friends, vacation, and even maximizing a staycation. With so many...

Gay couple holding hands

Top 10 Takeaways From The International Matchmakers Conference 2014

Each year, I’m proud to share the Top 10 Takeaways from meeting in May in NYC with fellow certified international matchmakers, dating coaches, single professionals, and...

Bar tab

Hold on to Your Heart

You would NOT believe how many times in interviewing potential clients that I hear stories about opportunists. In reviewing exes, it usually starts with “well, after he lost his job”...

Gay couple on their wedding day

How to Marry a Millionaire

In taking inquiries from, and then interviewing, eligible gay men from Texas, the U.S. coast to coast, Norway, London, France, Switzerland, and Mexico, I have never once been asked to set...

Guy on his phone at a coffee shop

The App—Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Last spring, a handsome, fit, accomplished, slightly older, but most eligible bachelor walked into our offices for his complimentary consultation. Before our two-hour private interview...

Volunteers at an event

Five Steps to Finding Your Valentine

February 11, 2014

With a New Year, new resolutions, and the promise of spring around the corner, I urge open discussions and friendly suggestions for those looking for love. Start doing things...

Man contemplating outdoors

Invest in Yourself for the New Year

December 31, 2013

Gentlemen, you do not need to be a millionaire or a celebrity to invest in yourself in 2014. Each week, as we interview eligible gay men seeking a long-term relationship, we seek to find...

Two men meeting, shaking hands

Let's Get Dignified, Dignified

October 29, 2013

When it came to dating, I personally never spent one minute on the internet to find my special person. Instead, I would listen to single gal pals talk endlessly about how much time it...

Guy contemplating on a hike

Better. Off. Alone?

October 14, 2013

Do you think you’re better off alone? I’ll always remember in more than 3 months of one-on-one focus groups, a particular early 40-something saying, “I’m happy being single right now.”...

Rejection

October 1, 2013

While we love to hear our clients report, “He’s for ME!” You have to realize, that we also hear our share of “He’s a great guy, really great, but not the one for me.” And that’s okay too...

Guy sharing his opinion

Must I?

September 13, 2013

I woke from a dream with the start of lyrics and tune to a song, on the morning of Sunday, June 9, 2013. Thank you Melatonin. I don’t sing, but I do blog. Enjoy...

Gay couple sitting together

What's Keeping You?

Having been a matchmaker nearly 24 years, I have talked with thousands of people who say they want a relationship. To take the plunge and allow us to actually help them, they must first...

Gay couple hugging

Hold On Just One Minute

“I want to see where this is going…” I love to hear these words. Whether it’s from an acquaintance, friend, potential client, or one of our actual H4M members. As I attend reputable...

Two men on a date

Top 10 Takeaways from the 2013 International Matchmakers Conference

Prospective matchmaking can happen anywhere at any time. From the flight from Austin to NYC, in which a potential client that I had interviewed did not initially see me, but admitted in...

Men out on a lunch date

Finding Love is Not a Game

Finding love is not a game. Not a game show even. And it's especially NOT a pageant! In the age of accidental overdosing on online dating, I strive to start a movement to revert back to...

Guy talking on phone

Call Me... Not Maybe

February 8, 2013

“I just met you. This is crazy. But here’s my number. So call me…no maybes.” As a certified matchmaker, my eyes and ears are always open. Whether at gay centric charitable events...

Tammy Shaklee and her husband on their wedding day

I Do. I Did.

October 23, 2012

I do. I did. I did it! And I wouldn’t tell you that you can, unless I had. You have to believe. Opening your heart and mind to finding the right one for you is in large part…attitude...

Older men on date

Mystery Date—the Game Girls Played, But Boys Didn’t

October 3, 2012

So while some of you may only remember your sister(s) playing, wouldn’t you agree that most blind or set up dates are somewhat of a mystery date? I was a little too young to play...

Men shaking hands

Greetings Gentlemen

August 24, 2012

I dream of saying to future clients, "You have a gentleman caller." Not the kind from The Glass Menagerie, that makes you swoon, then breaks your heart. But the kind of gentleman that...

Professional Matchmakers Association – Approved Member

Philosophy #

2

You deserve your person, whatever that looks like to you.

-

Tammy Shaklee

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