The Big Wave in 2025

My personal matchmaker once introduced me to a surfer, sailor, and mountain climber. I remember thinking, “What? That’s not me!” I then tried multiple surfing lessons to learn—it isn’t exactly my thing—but what I did learn was this: ocean waves often come in a set of three. First, bigger, biggest. And if you’re lucky, you catch the biggest one. You find your balance, get your footing, and ride it for as long as you can.

After more than a decade since founding H4M Matchmaking, this feels like that biggest wave.

We are finally here.

What began as a solo mission to serve the LGBTQ community is now growing into a mighty, thriving industry of certified, committed, and passionate matchmakers. I still remember the early days—some of our matchmaker conferences had me seated alone at the metaphorical “table for one” as the only one focused exclusively on LGBTQ clients. As a straight ally in this work, I sometimes felt like the original Gay & Lesbian Matchmaker™—a title I don’t take lightly.

But things have changed. And they’re changing fast.

Over the years, more matchmakers have joined the effort, focused on targeted cities, regions, cultural backgrounds, and specific identities within the LGBTQ spectrum. Whereas we focus coast-to-coast, interviewing all LGBTQ singles, others may cater to very particular clients—such as high-net-worth individuals. I’ve had the privilege of collaborating with many of them—and I take pride in uniting leaders who are committed to helping people find real, lasting connection.

Now, the world is finally starting to notice.

There’s a growing buzz—on social media, on streaming platforms, and even among the dating app-weary who are ready for something more meaningful. More personalized. More human. After years of building trust and proving that private, offline introductions work, we’re finally seeing the momentum shift.

I’m getting more and more calls from matchmakers looking to serve bisexual clients. Other heterosexual matchmaking companies are expanding their services to include gay men for the first time. It’s happening.

At our most recent matchmaker conference, it truly felt like all my cousins showed up to the family reunion. We even had a breakout session poolside with a full circle of LGBTQ-focused matchmakers, brainstorming and collaborating as a community. It was meaningful—and overdue.

Yes, we are in the business of love. But we are also professionals. And for me, a transparent, ethical, client-centered business model is non-negotiable. As more singles begin to “shop around” for a matchmaker, I always say: don’t just look for a matchmaker. Find the right matchmaker—for you.

Ask questions. Pay attention to who they take on—and who they don’t. Should they take you on if they don’t have the depth? Do they have a strong enough network of matches for your unique identity, goals, and desires? Are they genuinely committed to your success? Are they certified in our industry?

If you’re not sure what to ask, call me. I’ve built a growing list of questions I wish I’d asked when I was a matchmaking client myself. My results were good, but I’ve learned a lot since then. That’s why I continue to advocate for accountability in this industry—especially as more matchmakers begin to enter and serve the LGBTQ community that we at H4M are so honored to support.

This is the big wave. And we’re riding it—together.