Seeking: Interesting and Interestedby Tammy Shaklee, Relationship Expert and H4M FounderDecember 3, 2020
Sure, it’s true when Certified Matchmakers interview an eligible single, we cover all the parameters - age range, height, body type, education, career. You bet. But then we take it a step further and dig deeper than an online dating website or app ever could. We drill down to the most compatible factors or indicators: key qualities and values. After eight years and thousands of interviews, a single phrase stands out to me as the most striking descriptor. An eligible single said to me just days ago, “I'm seeking interesting and interested” and a light bulb went off.
In their case, prior to the pandemic of course, he had done the work and really put himself out there. I was impressed. Over the past few years, this particular quality gay single had joined meetup groups, attended community or advocacy mixers, participated in sports leagues, joined Sunday Funday gatherings, even participated in the walks, marches, rides, and festivals. He could even estimate the number of actual first and/or second dates he had experienced through the online dating websites or apps. We're talking close to one hundred! And then, in a moment of sheer genius, he shared with me, "You know, I'm simply looking for a partner who is interesting (to themselves, the community, to fellow human beings and neighbors, family, friends, and even strangers or folks not like them) and interested (in me).
Boom. Mind blown. I've listened for thousands of hours now over Skype, Zoom, or WhatsApp video with countless singles who have so carefully listed an endless and well-thought-out list of descriptors in their search for an ideal partner. However, I have never heard this so eloquently and concisely stated. I want a partner who is interesting and interested.
In the midst of a pandemic, when compromised on your access to a social life, fitness, human interaction, office or work place, gatherings with friends and family, my advice to you is this - do not shut down who you are and who you want to be. Take initiative to be a person your future partner would want to get to know and find interesting. Do something new and fresh today. Pick up a book, a hobby, a game to study, a new online documentary series, or reading source, even the latest online Esquire or Vanity Fair. Be engaged in the world, in your community. It’s more than just politics. What folks find interesting is a variety of things that make you a well-rounded single, one they cannot wait to spend time with in making life richer together.
Please do not let the longevity of this pandemic diminish your vibrancy. Get creative. Set some small and attainable goals. Broaden your scope of knowledge, beyond your work or search for work. Do something in the next winter weeks that make you a dynamite single I would want to interview as a match for my clients. Then call or email, and tell us about it. My treat.