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How to Meet Now Without AI and IRL

by Tammy Shaklee, Relationship Expert and H4M FounderAugust 8, 2023

Hurry, you eligible LGBTQ singles. Summer travel is at its peak in years. That means the opportunity to see real people in real life. So, let me kindly remind you of a time BEFORE the GPS apps. Younger singles may laugh, but the more mature gay and lesbian singles often remember it fondly. Let me remind you of a time BEFORE the option of AI chatting for you (or with you). And let me go so far as to remind you of a time BEFORE hand-held devices.

What seems like forever ago, singles used to meet when visiting family in another city or state or attending a wedding, a class reunion, or a work conference. For the outdoor types, you could even meet on a weekend road trip with friends. Yes, of course, along came personal ads and chat rooms. Then came the explosion of tech, from online dating sites to today’s dating apps. But all I’ve heard from you who reached out to us at H4M Matchmaking for the last decade is frustration. I have endless stories of how frustrated you are with the hours, energy, and emotions spent on trying to meet a quality or compatible single, only to end in disappointing and sometimes disastrous results. Then another year goes by, and yet another, etc.

Let’s try something different after surviving the extended pandemic, with so many lessons learned. Let’s get back to the basics of how proactive singles used to meet by chance. Taking a flight, a train, or a tour while visiting a new location? It’s OK again to be interested in potentially meeting someone when you are in new places, during new adventures, and even heading back home to visit family or longtime friends. The airport lounge, coffee shop, or new stylish wine bar offers a chance to meet someone who also enjoys travel. There, you already have one compatible thing in common. Do not sit at your gate or on the platform living and dying by the glow of your device as you ruin your posture. Stand up and shine on your own.

I challenge you during the remainder of this summer to put down your device when traveling outside of your home, whether abroad or even local.

Running an errand? Look up, make eye contact, and even engage in conversation with a real live person. Grabbing some takeout? Stop the delivery order and pick it up in person. Have a nice cool beverage or glass of wine while you wait. (Yes, I have friends who met and married with this technique that I’ve coached on for years.)

Better yet, why not go to your favorite or a new takeout place, and if the crowd or even a couple of folks seem promising or interesting, order your dinner to dine in and stay to enjoy it? Again, look up and be an interesting and interested person in real life. Talk to the wait staff or your server and ask about the owner or the history of the place. Ask about the most popular dishes, the most popular nights, and what the weekends are like. Make a small list and do this with several places you have heard about or been meaning to check out. You do not have to have a date to find a potential date place and maybe a potential person to date.

I guarantee you that the person in front of you is not a bot, not a fake account, but a real person who could potentially be single, eligible, and a compatible new friend or even partner. And you never know who they may know. Maybe the person in front of you has a single roommate, friend, cousin, sibling, or family member. Being an active, outgoing, and solo single for dinner makes it clear to the other person or people that there is room in your life for a plus one.

So, you want to someday get engaged? Then engage. In conversation, exchanging verbal pleasantries, offering a compliment, or asking a simple question. Today, this weekend, this month.

Whether you are traveling this month or define your month as a staycation in your own city, make a plan. Open your heart and mind to meeting one new person today. You never know. It could potentially be your special someone, just in time for fall.

And if you would rather delegate your quality search, I invite you to contact us. We do all of the work for the busiest of successful and eligible LGBTQ singles.

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"I could tell from the beginning, Tammy, that you are transparent, respectful, and on top of it."- Illinois Bachelorette, 41
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