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Choosing Your Gay/Lesbian Matchmaker (don’t get burned!)

by Tammy Shaklee, Relationship Expert and H4M FounderApril 20, 2022

Some in the certified matchmaking industry call me the Fairy Gaymother. I wear that title with pride!

Years ago, I conducted the research, feasibility study, months of one-on-one focus group interviews, and designed the gay and lesbian matchmaking company for singles by singles, that would be straight ally-owned and operated. This was prior to marriage equality passing and prior to matchmaking businesses becoming big sales-oriented companies. It was before apps asking you to swipe and long before matchmaking companies who focused on straight matches would take an LGBTQ client.

After 10 years as a Certified Matchmaker matching exclusively LGBTQ clients, owning my own company, and introducing vetted quality singles, I have some updated tips for you.

Just as you are seeking your compatible match in an ideal partner, you should also consider if you and your matchmaker (or matchmaking company) are a good match. Perhaps you may prefer a more personable boutique style, in which you and your matchmaking team are working toward the same goal. Shopping around and asking some key questions may help set you on the right trajectory. After all, you’re looking for life-long impact here, right? I myself was a matchmaking client back in the day, and am so thankful I was prudent in choosing the right firm for me.

There has been a barrage of previously straight-only companies now serving LGBTQ clientele. They’re spending lots of ad dollars online trying to get your attention. So I'd love to share some things to consider in your search for your best matchmaker:

Just how personal is the service? Do you interview with the owner? Do you know who the owner is? Sometimes that’s tricky to find.

Have you asked the salesperson on the phone how long he or she has worked for the company? Do they know the owner? Is there a single owner or is this run by an investment group? What percentage of LGBTQ singles do they serve? Do they get most of their LGBTQ business from referrals? Or paid ads instead?

Will you be passed around? Does the same person who interviewed you also select your compatible matches? Or are they paid commissions based on increasing sales goals and quotas?

How does your matchmaker work with your feedback? Do you get a call to hear about your hand-selected matches or never-ending emails with templated profiles? Do you provide live verbal feedback the next day, or are you asked to complete an online survey?

Shameless plug. After serving LGBTQ singles for a decade now, I hope you find us to be the best fit for you. Our goal is for you to grow, enjoy your compatible introductions, and get into a committed long-term relationship that is sustainable and satisfying.

For more information on traditional introductions, courting, and dating for today’s modern gay single, contact H4M—the offline, personal matchmaking service designed exclusively for those seeking a long-term relationship. You can also follow our Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for inspiration on finding love. #loveislove
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