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Top 10 Takeaways from the 2013 International Matchmakers Conference

International Matchmakers Conference April 25-27, 2013, New York City, NY, USA

10.  Prospective matchmaking can happen anywhere at any time.  From the flight from Austin to NYC, in which a potential client that I had interviewed did not initially see me, but admitted in baggage claim, that he had spent the flight telling his best gal pal all about the prospect of hiring a matchmaker.  To the NYC sole practitioner in his neighborhood swanky cocktail bar, opening up to me that his 5-year long-distance relationship with his true love in Sweden sadly can never lead to marriage because of distance.  And finally, to the fabulous Aussie from LA who graciously shared a cab with me to JFK, and admitted that while work keeps him in Cali, the type of man he seeks is not what he’s finding in sunny LA.

9.  First impression is everything, and it goes both ways, whether hiring a matchmaker, prospecting a potential client, or going on a first date.  If we are to be the professionals that earn the trust, and respect of the men (and women) that seek our services, then we have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.  In the service industry, you must be well-groomed, dressed, mannered, versed, and educated.  Just as in the love category, when we coach clients to also present the best image, impression, personality, style, and attitude.  We should work to always provide a new and improved mirror with a brilliant reflection.

8.  When to first have sex….is…well….a universal question.  With nine countries represented, global matchmakers largely recommend waiting to have sex until after the third date.  But as we learned, clients in Brazil may not take that advice, while those in Hong Kong are now benefiting from much-needed, modern day, optional sex education classes.  Whether a more aggressive or more reserved culture, we still insist that sex on the first date is a deal breaker for a long-term relationship or marriage.

7.  Clients of certified matchmakers are getting younger and younger each year.  Perhaps because of theories presented in the book, “Love in the Time of Algorithms.”  Author Dan Slater presented assumptions based on his research, as we all lamented that the vastness of online “dating” was often overwhelming to our clients before they hired a matchmaker.  Noted:  Volume may present more options, be not the quality selection or human filter of a real, live matchmaker.

6.  The niche is next.  Growth of the matchmaking industry now provides the opportunity for success in niche markets, giving even greater hope for particular ethnicities, cultures, interracial and sexual orientations (such as my niche of gay matchmaking, for men seeking a long-term relationship).  Perhaps the most exciting of those revealed was from a matchmaker in Greece, who personally hopes to provide matchmaking for the disabled citizens that are so limited by the lack of HDA (Humans with Disabilities Act) type roads, sidewalks, or access.  She’ll soon take the matches to them at home.

5.  You can match for generations.  Matchmaking can be a business designed for generational transfer.  It was thrilling to meet more than one mother/daughter pair, setting up their matchmaking business, to not only work together, but establish a woman-owned business that can be passed down for years, creating a family legacy of quality service in the love industry.

4.  Globally, the women’s movement has hurt women from finding their partner.  The “Boss Lady Syndrome” is unfortunately alive and well in various countries, and creating a virtual force field, keeping men from choosing from those types of strong, independent women as a lifetime partner.  Learning various techniques to help this subset of clients prepare to meet their husband was most valuable.

3.  Matchmaking is an investment, and you get what you pay for.  Whether a niche matchmaking service, or high end boutique service, you invest (emotionally and financially) in the experience of finding love.  If prospective clients want to do all of the culling, and filtering of the vast singles, fine.  They’ll probably be back, when they want a professional to cut through hours, days, weeks, and years of effort.  We’re trained, connected, often certified, and professional, and we’re happy to get clients set up with a first match in a couple of weeks of joining in membership.  Clients hire us to be their “love agent” and work for them at a cost that determines our added value and level of personal service.  As long-time matchmakers attest, there is the greater need for dating coaching.  We want clients to be successful in finding their “person” and will coach, handhold, be honest, be constructive, and help to refine your greatest qualities.

2.  Matchmaking is the opposite of today’s dating app.  Today’s online explosion of online dating options can seem endless, and the new onslaught of apps may seem fun and intriguing.  Even with increased options, we’re reminded clients of all ages and status can still take it offline by hiring a professional matchmaker to work to find one’s priorities in personal values, qualities, and compatibility.  In fact, the human filter IS the point of our industry.  For those men and women that feel most comfortable online, interview a matchmaker via Skype today!

1.  The greatest factor in successfully finding your person……is attitude.  In a specialized industry that’s been around for decades, matchmakers agree if your heart and mind are open to meeting the right person who shares the same qualities, values, and attraction, you (and we) can be successful in finding love.  As I say, “There is someone for everyone. Let us introduce you.”  Before becoming a certified matchmaker, I truly believed in hiring a professional matchmaker to find my husband.  I’m glad he did too.

For more information on traditional introductions, courting, and dating for today’s modern gay single, contact H4M—the offline, personal matchmaking service designed exclusively for those seeking a long-term relationship. You can also follow our Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for inspiration on finding love. #loveislove

Philosophy #3

Let the universe work for you by putting it out there—he or she is seeking you too.