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Single During Shelter in Place Even as It Lifts – The Plan

by Tammy Shaklee, Relationship Expert and H4M FounderMay 1, 2020

Stop literally counting the passing or passed weeks, the days, the missed events, or holiday norms. Just stop. And wake up to a new day, with new determination, and start looking FORWARD. Decide today that you're either committing to your new plan or ramping up your already healthy efforts to get ready for your future partner. Now is the time. This may have been the break many were needing to reprioritize and recommit.

This week, I talked with one of our matchmaking clients who had already been through a downturn in his own personal and professional life before the pandemic began. Expecting to comfort him during this time, I was instead inspired by him. He looked great during our catch-up Zoom video call. He had lost some weight, put on some muscle, and his arms looked great in his spring polo shirt in his home office. He had borrowed a free weight set from a friend and set it up in his space outside of his office. He had a healthy routine outside of at-home work hours that involved his hobbies and passions he could do from home, was connected with friends and family, and was even finding a way to help a family member in need.

Today was a reminder: I have grown to respect and believe in the Law of Attraction.

Today was a reminder: I have lived the mantra that you can Change Your Attitude to Change Your Life.

We, as grown-ass educated or professional adults, inherently know what is good for us. We don’t always wake to want to do fitness, but we know we need it. We don’t always want to eat or drink in moderation, but we know it’s best for us. We don’t always want to drink more water or get in our steps, but we know it is such simple efforts that maintain overall wellness.

During my daily calls to gay and lesbian singles, I now ask that we touch base on 3 main points before we talk matchmaking. I ask us to share with each other the status of our physical, mental, and emotional health. It makes me monitor my own daily coping and status. And it helps me genuinely find ways to help others if needed. I want to thank those who have been so painfully honest when struggling a bit. And I want to thank those professionals who offered to assist. By connecting singles with a little professional advice, I have learned a few key points for consideration and for the plan. Working hard to achieve mental, physical, and emotional wellness is like working hard to excel in your work, career, or academics. So, if you don’t already, it is recommended that you:

  1. Exercise 5x/week: Do an online yoga class, take a brisk neighborhood walk, take the condo stairs, or enjoy dancing videos like Zumba.

  2.  Develop or maintain a relationship with one family member who understands you and 2-3 friends, whether old or new, near or far.

  3. Schedule a video coffee or tea with someone once a week. Reach out with no expectations, but enjoy being present and a brief face-to-face with someone familiar with whom to stay in contact.

Starting today, I challenge you to prepare to meet your compatible partner. Been cooking during lockdown? Or exploring new takeout options? Make a list of what would turn into great dinners for two when it’s again time for dining in together.

Been cleaning or putzing around or assessing needs in your home and habitat? Make a list of what’s needed or can be used for a nice table setting for two when it’s time. Maybe it’s a discounted set of new bedding, two new deck chairs, or a small bistro outdoor table or grill. How will you cook together? Stay healthy and perhaps work out together? And where can you plan to travel together when it’s time? What easy weekend getaways could you enjoy? What will be your first road trip together?

Get your heart, mind, body, soul, and spirit ready for a new partner in your life. Get your home or space ready. Now … we all simply wait to book the ideal haircut.

This next season will be a new season, and it is the right time to meet them, as they are preparing to meet you too.

For more information on traditional introductions, courting, and dating for today’s modern gay single, contact H4M—the offline, personal matchmaking service designed exclusively for those seeking a long-term relationship. You can also follow our Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for inspiration on finding love. #loveislove
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Philosophy #11

Don’t lose hope. When you find the one for you, the search is worth every minute.