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Love is Worth the Risk

In my late 30s, I didn’t surf, sail, climb mountains, or run with the bulls. I didn’t take risk.

And then I married it. All because of my personal, offline and professional matchmaker.

Honestly, back then (and still today) I can barely swim. Just enough to save my life, I would often say. So how was I supposed to be brave and agree to not only learn to surf, but go all in, by staying in a surf camp haven, just yards from the ocean, and dedicate my entire trip with my new boyfriend to surfing. In Costa Rica.

With my now husband (Clif), I learned to simply hold my breath, and go. Involving, for me, a lot of prayer, of course.

Even on that first surf trip, fully suited with a new matching rash guard to go with my new boy bottoms two-piece, I faked confidence. Personally, I thought, “Why would God let me die when I’ve finally met the man of my dreams, and this can be the first of many fun chapters together in our long life ahead of us?” Faith will keep me afloat if my own lifesaving skills don’t. Oh, and, I will also be leashed from my ankle to a floatation device. A surfboard. So surely this is going to work out.

Arriving Witch’s Rock Surf Camp, I was comforted to know my handsome instructor, Johan, would conduct my first lesson first thing in the morning. But, then, Clif said, “Why wait until morning, when tide is in now? Hurry. Let’s change, grab a board and get out there quick! I’ll show you how for now.”

I followed him. With the false safety of the surfboard leash, I paddled, and turtle rolled even, right out in to the line up, honestly having NO idea what I was doing other than striking the sitting-on-back-of-board pose from the surf movies. After a few attempts, I paddled like mad, somehow unknowingly caught a wave, and actually stood for just a moment, poorly surfing by his side. (Picture Gidget.)

It’s all he really wanted. That moment of a vision for our life of adventure together. (He didn’t mention the small nurse shark he saw in the wave, until we were having a sunset cocktail later. “Bartender, I’m going to need another!”)

With a milestone birthday, I prepared to marry a man that did and wanted to do all of these aforementioned things, and more. Ride motorcycles, do boot camps, shoot guns, do a 5-year historic preservation project, go on a photo safari.

If I had let my matchmaker cancel our blind date because “we didn’t have enough in common” – then I would have never have done these things too.  I never told my matchmaking service that I was looking for a life of adventure, or an older risk taker, or an entrepreneur. It's just who I was supposed to meet.

I didn’t have a check list of 74 things I was looking for in the “perfect man for me” but instead a 4 point list of key values and qualities in the man that would be compatible with me.

If you’re wondering what on the list we’ve already done together, and what’s still for me to check off as he wants to do it again, I’ll tell you…I don’t climb mountains.

Instead, he inspired me to start my own company. Taking my biggest risk of all. To provide the same matchmaking services to you. The same services that allowed us to meet.

If you’re scared about the thought of actually meeting the perfect man for you? Then I say, try running with the bulls in Pamplona, my dear. Now THAT’s scary. But opening your heart and your mind to love? It’s worth every effort. Let’s do this!! Hold your breath, and shoot us an email today!

For more information on traditional introductions, courting, and dating for today’s modern gay single, contact H4M—the offline, personal matchmaking service designed exclusively for those seeking a long-term relationship. You can also follow our Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for inspiration on finding love. #loveislove

Philosophy #12

Finding a match is like selecting shoes—you may have to try on more than you expected.