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by Tammy Shaklee, Relationship Expert and H4M FounderJanuary 2, 2020

Setting your intention to find love in the new year is something I annually encourage all singles to do. But it does not always result in a smooth, steady, or speedy journey. There can be ups and downs, some tricky corners you didn't anticipate, and misses - not just hits. While I never want this for singles, and try to help you avoid it, seeking love can sometimes trigger upset. This emotion might surface in having the blues or an occasional moment of discouragement. Perhaps if a person has not yet done the work to attract the right partner in your life, it might mean having some misdirected anger. Please know we are here for you, to talk through some of those feelings and stay focused on your ultimate success. For singles who are extremely driven, results-oriented, or Type-A++, patience can be difficult and perhaps frustrating initially.

Finding the compatible partner is not an immediate results experience. Hiring a certified matchmaker can take the stress off of you, and is often freeing for some singles who now have more time to do things that bring them joy. It was for me when I hired my matchmaker in 2005. On New Year's Eve, my husband and I will celebrate our 11 year wedding anniversary. It was worth the wait, worth my patience, and worth my stubborn tenacity.

Matchmakers are often challenged with clients who perhaps have waited SO long to outsource their search, they want their ideal partner NOW. I understand. I empathize. And I'll coach you to first be happy with yourself, in being the best version of you, and take steps to prepare to be a compatible partner yourself.

Don't just be nostalgic about the things in your life that once made you an eligible single. Instead, take an honest present-day look at your life to make some changes that reflect who you are now. Over the clubbing scene, and no longer want to go to bars? Then what interesting thing did you make time for in your life by doing so? (Please don't list binge-watch as a hobby or passion.) And if you're getting a little older and don't enjoy the game of tennis as much, then why not replace it with pickleball, or kayaking, or trying out the new gym in your neighborhood? Love yourself first. Love your life. And love your friends and family. It's sexy, and it's what singles tell me they are searching for in an ideal partner.

As we close the decade and head full force into 2020, I thank every client who invested in finding their future partner. I'm impressed with how many H4M LGBTQ singles are coupled, living together, and are now celebrating anniversaries. Even when we may have had some bumps in the road, you trusted in our extended and tireless efforts. In our office for more than seven years, we have said that we "lead with love" so that you may find it too. When you lead with love, you believe in the good in others, you accept them for their flaws, and even can sustain a highly charged business that deals with the human heart and soul. Matchmaking is not for every searching single, but it is a process that brings the ultimate results if you can be patient in your search. Partner with us, to find your partner in 2020.

For more information on traditional introductions, courting, and dating for today’s modern gay single, contact H4M—the offline, personal matchmaking service designed exclusively for those seeking a long-term relationship. You can also follow our Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for inspiration on finding love. #loveislove
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"Can you put things on pause for a little while? I want to see where this match goes before meeting anyone new."- Bachelor, DC, 35
Philosophy #5

Offline matchmaking requires human interaction and compatibility based on key values and personal qualities.