H4M Blog

How a Shy Lesbian can Slay a Meetup

by Tammy Shaklee, Relationship Expert and H4M FounderMay 30, 2019

Hurry folks, as you may not have heard... Meetup is having a hard time getting folks to actually show up at events. That’s right. The online social site for meeting like-minded people has concerns about declining crowd engagement. So much so, that they’ve invited those of us who manage a large Meetup group to attend meetings among other group organizers to problem solve.

Sounds like the passive online cruising is contagious and now impacting online platforms whose purpose is for more human face-to-face interaction. We don’t want Meetup to close up, so let’s kick it into gear!

How can I help? By giving you ladies a challenge, and perhaps some tips. For years, my staff and I at H4M Matchmaking have respectfully taken over and now manage a long-running Meetup named Austin LGBT Socials. For years, we have watched it grow monthly with new members in the growing city of Austin, TX, and now celebrate approximately 3,500 Meetup Members. That’s a lot! Most are single, most are seeking, and I honestly believe most have good intentions to engage with other like-minded quality folks.

But do most show up when we host a mixer? Not really. We’ve polled, and know some folks are simply shy or more of an introvert, but have the confidence to reach out to us one on one. We’ve listened, and now we share.

Starting today, I encourage you more thoughtful and quieter single ladies to look at the calendar and give yourself the three months of summer as your timeline. At least once a week, review the upcoming Meetups that may interest you—Lesbians, Hikers, Bikers, Gay Christians, Coffee House, Book Clubs. What are the things that interest you outside of work and your careers? Now set a goal to attend three Meetups in three months. What next?

  1. RSVP to the Meetup. Make a comment or ask a question on the event page. Such as, “Will there be ample parking? Can I bring my dog? Is this venue safe to arrive via scooter?”

  2. Message the organizer. We love to hear from folks who are bravely coming for the first time. We will agree to meet you at the door, or the start of the event, and introduce you around, or even ask for your assistance with name tags and such. I always look forward  to welcoming the newbies to Meetup or to Austin!

  3. Review other attendees. Feel free to message attendees to ask if they’ve been to an event before, or if they have advice about what to bring, what to wear, and how long they usually stay. Remember they were once a first-timer too.

  4. Follow up with thanks. Because perhaps folks forgot your name or didn’t get to meet you, but saw you there and were interested to chat and didn’t get the chance. Draft a quick post to thank the organizer and tell them you enjoyed the venue, event, or folks you met. Offering encouragement to see folks at the next event is a great way to be proactive while quietly engaging from your device after your return home.

Now that you’ve attended the event, spend some time at home with a nice tea or glass of wine and recharge.

That’s right, we’ve been working with some of the most eligible but shy lesbian singles and gay bachelors for nearly seven years. We know you need your time to regroup, reenergize, and reboot before the next day, the next week, or even the next outing with friends or a potential partner. That’s why Meetups are an ideal option for your occasional social life. The organization and coordination is all done by someone else. All you need to do is show up.

Attend three Meetup events, then tell me...was it worth it? Did you meet someone new, see or experience something or someplace new? And if you still found it too daunting, then call us today, and we can take it to the next level of offline matchmaking. We are always here to help. Some of our clients find shyness to be sexy.

For more information on traditional introductions, courting, and dating for today’s modern gay single, contact H4M—the offline, personal matchmaking service designed exclusively for those seeking a long-term relationship. You can also follow our Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for inspiration on finding love. #loveislove

Philosophy #11

Don’t lose hope. When you find the one for you, the search is worth every minute.