Hold on to Your Heartby Tammy Shaklee, Relationship Expert and H4M FounderApr 28, 2014
You would NOT believe how many times in interviewing potential clients that I hear stories about opportunists. In reviewing exes, it usually starts with “well, after he lost his job” to “he had to take a break from school because [insert excuse]” to “he just got to a point where he couldn’t pay his bills” to a never ending story of how my more financially stable and responsible men picked up the slack, and the finances. They gave their heart, and lost their cash. Oh sure, the romance may have lasted a while, but in recapping what they took away from the relationship, I often hear how much it cost them financially, not to mention, emotionally.
I can’t blame them for turning a blind eye as we all sometimes overlook opportunistic, even toxic, behavior in the name of love, whether it’s for a family member, friend, or romantic partner . Like these men, I, too wanted to meet a man of my caliber, who was as financially stable and driven as I was. Men, each of you deserves your equal. A great man that wants what you want, but is bringing as much to the table as what you have to offer.
In one of today’s matchmaker interviews with a great man that is now a new client, he was holding back somewhat describing “the perfect man for him” until I nudged him a little harder. I said, “This is your chance to ask for exactly what you’re looking for, so don’t hold back.” If you want financially stable, don’t be ashamed to ask for that. A matchmaker can never guarantee we’ll introduce you to the perfect 10. After all, none of us are a perfect 10. As is said in the matchmaking industry, “Pick an 8 who is going to love you.” He may not western dance, for example (like my hubby), but he may just sign up for salsa lessons to try and make up for it.
No one comes to interview in our consultation room and describes their perfect future partner as a moocher. It’s just the opposite. They’ve been there, done that, and can account for in the end what that cost them. Now is the time to determine that you want a giver, not a taker. That you want your equal, not an opportunist.
As the song says, “Don’t come back any time; I’ve already had your kind – money grabber.”
This is your time. Let’s introduce you to the caliber of men you deserve. Ka-ching!