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Fall... In Love (again)

by Tammy Shaklee, Relationship Expert and H4M FounderNovember 2, 2016
Women kissing on date

You are never too young or too old to fall for the one who deserves your heart. It doesn’t mean that we’re perfect. Or that they are. But we are all human. And deserving of love.

To celebrate four years of LGBT matchmaking, and being known in our industry as “The Gay Matchmaker” H4M gently announces that we now also match lesbian women seeking a long-term relationship. There was no fanfare, press release, or even social media post. Simply a new tab on the www.H4M.com website that says Ladies Only. In addition, we are now matching select bisexuals. Again, no online proclamation needed, when we pride ourselves as the opposite of “online” dating. We are a human and offline service. And it takes our personal 2-hour interview to determine whether we feel like we can be successful in matching you with what you are seeking.

So, on this November 1, 2016, on a very busy day of matchmaking from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Central Time, attending the Gay Chamber of Commerce luncheon, and then hosting a Meetup at an LGBT social, we celebrated a quiet company anniversary with reflection, and gratitude.

For more than four years, I (and my staff) have interviewed singles who have changed my life. Gay men (and now women) of all ages, all stages of life, and with all levels of hope, confidence, faith, optimism, achievement, and happiness. I have been reminded to dedicate more time to my own relationships. I have recognized my own flaws. And I have been renewed and fulfilled daily by the power of the human spirit.

Today, I ran in to a man for whom I have matched about a half dozen times with quality bachelors serious in wanting a monogamous relationship. I remember each of his matches well, and had been a hint disappointed none had led to a long-term relationship. (Yes, I’m honest and transparent, as my clients will attest.) In the last two weeks, I’ve seen this man at LGBT social events, and twice now he has hugged me, and gushed in great detail about the man with whom he now has an exclusive and loving relationship.

“Tammy, I have to tell you that I learned so much from the process and my matches! I thought I was ready, I really did. But I wasn’t. I thought I knew what I wanted, what was important, but I didn’t,” he exclaims. “I had this impression of the guy I was seeking, but it wasn’t that at all.”

He fills me in on more specifics of this great guy, a kind, studious, and responsible man, who is working to grow his career, who supports him emotionally through a career change, and who is realistic and optimistic as they steadily develop their commitment to each other.

As a relationship professional, I seek to learn more about today’s singles, and the changing challenges through societal evolution in dating. Even in our own continuing education, we are reminded how simple it is to want to find your person, but how frustrating it can feel in the effort. But, trust us when we tell you that it’s worth it. When you find the one for you, the search was worth every minute.

One dating coach put it best when he essentially said, “A date is simply a pair of shoes. Meet someone new. I’m handing you a pair of shoes. Try on the shoes. They don’t fit? That’s okay. Let’s get you another pair of shoes. You don’t hate shoes. You are not mad at your feet. You don’t give up on shoes for a lifetime. You will find a pair of shoes that fit. But you might have to try on more than you expected. Are you really going to expect to wear an outrageously extravagant and wildly uncomfortable pair of shoes for 40 years? Because it will be a “high” for a year (or 1 hour of walking in them) but a struggle for life.”

I love when folks find love, whether through our quality and vetted introductions, or on their own. The point is to not give up on finding it.

Fall is the perfect time of the year to rededicate your search for the right one for you. Our record October of new clients supports this theory. Whether you’ve had love and lost it, or you are seeking your first real love, the search does not have to be painful, but is a process to learn more about what works for you in this stage of your life.

If you want to try it on your own, give us a quick call for encouragement, as we are big believers in karma. If you want a helping hand, let us do as much or as little as is needed to get you on a compatible match before the holidays.

The change of season is always a good time to try on a new pair of shoes.

For more information on traditional introductions, courting, and dating for today’s modern gay single, contact H4M—the offline, personal matchmaking service designed exclusively for those seeking a long-term relationship. You can also follow our Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for inspiration on finding love. #loveislove
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