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Better. Off. Alone?

Do you think you’re better off alone?  I’ll always remember in more than 3 months of one-on-one focus groups, a particular early 40-something saying, “I’m happy being single right now.”

The final question at the end of the confidential 30-minute verbal questionnaire was, “Would you consider hiring a professional to set you up on quality introductory dates with the goal to meet a long-term partner or find a long-term relationship?”

In months of these private interviews, he was the first and only to share this response.  And I remember putting a lot of thought to that.  I was doing the research and design for a pioneering offline matchmaking company for gay men.  Did they want this, did they need this, and would they embrace a new and dignified way of meeting quality men wanting the same things they want?

So what if the majority of eligible gay men think they’re better off alone?

A year and half later, I can tell you, I don’t think that’s the case.  Through the rest of the focus groups, and now with a year of interviewing wonderful men from all over Texas, and beyond, they seek love, companionship, their equal, their life partner, someone perfect for them with whom they can see themselves growing older and sharing life’s joys.  Just like I did.  That’s what I know for sure.  The heart and the desire for love is in so many ways the same.

So. Talk to me.  Do you think you’re better off alone?

If not.  Do something about it.  Today.  If you don’t call or email us, then at least make a call.  To a dear friend, a family member, a loved one.  And tell them that they should not assume you’re currently happy being single.  Tell them you want to find the perfect man for you.  Maybe they can help.  Maybe they’ll set you up.  Maybe they’ll help spread the word.  Maybe they’ll give you ideas, direction, and even go with you in the great search.

The focus group results showed that men are frustrated with those who promise to fix them up, but don’t.  And those who do try, they may not trust.  Others said they’ve never really been out on a blind date, if you will.  And a few shared the funny but predictable story of being set up by a loved one that clearly didn’t know or understand their type at all.

With yesterday being National Coming Out Day, we straight allies join in support.  Even in the last couple of years, I’ve witnessed daily the evolution of opportunities for living a more authentic life.  And I’m here to help.

So, back to the suggestion of calling a friend today?

If they really care about you and want you to be successful in meeting the right quality man for you, maybe that friend will simply tell you…to call me.

For more information on traditional introductions, courting, and dating for today’s modern gay single, contact H4M—the offline, personal matchmaking service designed exclusively for those seeking a long-term relationship. You can also follow our Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for inspiration on finding love. #loveislove

Philosophy #2

You deserve your person, whatever that looks like to you.

- Tammy Shaklee