As a straight ally who founded an LGBT business, I get the most painfully honest and genuine questions from my straight friends and family. And what may surprise you even more? The same questions often come from gay or lesbian individuals too. “So, are most of your women matchmaking clients lipstick lesbians?” “Are most of your men clients gay but really masculine? Are they out?”
And from the many gay and lesbian singles I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing for more than five years, I often hear, “I’m attracted to straight acting.” Actually, it breaks my heart to hear how many times a gay single has fallen in love with a straight person, who would not yet admit to or confront being bisexual or gay curious, or has not yet come to terms with being same-sex attracted.
Please know, I am not a licensed therapy or counseling professional. I am a certified relationship professional. Just as when I was a broadcast journalist, I’m a generalist. I know a little bit about a lot of things. In our office, we are LGBT and love-focused all day, every day. On a daily basis, I have no idea what we’ll face and what result will come of it. As we say, “We are gay gay, all day day.” And every day is an adventure in finding love.
Each week, the most diverse LGBT singles contact us at H4M Matchmaking. This week alone, I had a lovely and brave personal message from a bi-curious woman, who I helped complimentary coach on how to attend a lesbian meetup in her area. We talked about appropriateness, respect, and transparency, and I applauded her for her honesty. I often feel I was called to be the conduit between my niche of singles who want to believe in and find love.
Who am I to judge? Seriously, each of us is so blessed, in so many ways. Sure, each of us has a journey – some more challenging and painful than others. I’m not perfect. And I was NOT raised in perfection. It was a mess of a childhood. But I survived it, even being raised hardcore Southern Baptist. (Can you imagine?) And today, I have hopefully evolved in to this multifaceted, non-judgmental, accepting, and objective adult and professional. I find myself lucky to finally have arrived here. And it’s still a path every day in which I work to do the best I can.
When I finished a client dating coaching call today with a master’s level, fit, family-oriented Houston bachelor, I mentioned to staff that he’s the one holding himself back. So many quality gay or lesbian (or transgender, yes, we match them) singles are the only ones holding themselves back. Singles often START AT THE FINISH LINE and then try to work their way back, if you will. At H4M, we believe you should meet someone at the starting gate: meet, see if you enjoy each other’s company, and then let’s take it from there moving forward. Whether fem, androgynous, masculine, completely out, somewhat out, or on the scale to any degree, we work with singles where they currently are, and who are simply frustrated being single. They are serious about seeking their monogamous compatible partner. Our job? To introduce them. Open your mind and heart, and let’s meet each other on this imperfect path. We are here to help. And to work. Just for you.